Clarity

I was lucky enough to be invited to an Anne Sudworth exhibition at Strawberry Hill House yesterday. I love to see original works that are so large and vibrant and in such evocative surroundings! We were lucky to be able to go as I am told that the refurbishment work will mean that the property will be completely closed in August of this year for some time. I know who I am going to ask to create the jacket cover for my book if (or when, as Marijke would insist!) it is accepted for publication! Fantastic work Anne, it was a privilege to see it.

This week I was so utterly fed up with the loss of fitness caused by weeks off the bike that I decided to cycle in anyhow, and wash up in the loos if I must with a flannel. The ride in was hard but not impossible, but the hill was a monster. (520 feet up to my office in not a lot of distance along!) I have some way to go before I can cycle up it all in one go again.

I stowed my bike in the usual place and dragged myself up to the office wondering what had possessed me to think that a wash in a toilet was going to be in any way sufficient. I got my washbag out of my locker and went in search of suitable facilities. Imagine my relief when I found a shower in a unisex disabled loo that looked like it didn't see a lot of use. There were also hooks on which I could hang my cycling gear to air out. I felt a twinge of guilt here - if I was wheelchair-bound, how would I feel about a cyclist using my facilities in that way? I examined my feelings, decided that I had no idea whatsoever as to whether what I was doing was acceptable or not, and decided to continue until I either had an opinion either way or there was a complaint. So, I showered, packed, breakfasted and made it back to the office for 9am.

Imagine my delight to find in my Inbox an email advising me that all shower facilities were now open again, and not only that, but that regular cyclists, runners and walkers were to be assigned their own locker in the actual shower area! To top it off, cyclists were to be given first refusal on them before anyone else got considered!

So, after having headed to the Estates Office double-quick to pick up my key, I now have locker number 1 and it has all my wash stuff in it, leaving room in my office locker for clothes, bike spares and wet-weather clothing spares. No longer do I have to carry lots of stuff from office to shower room and back again. Unparalleled luxury.

As if to underline this new encouragement to green travel, the evening was warm, sunny and my ride home was luxurious and relaxing.



Again I found myself riding through clouds of Spring perfume from the extravagant blossom.



Life is good.

.... if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes. I was out cycling yesterday evening in glorious 17 degrees and golden, summerlike sunshine. I chose some very quiet backroads through the fields and farmland and came across this:



It amused me to the level that I needed to stop and take a picture.

Well, that didn't work terribly well, did it? I won't go into great detail as to what has happened between the beginning of this year (and those well-meant resolutions) and now. Suffice it to say that the vast majority of it has been distressing, stressful, sorrowful and has caused me to go into a retreat deeper than any I believe that I have had before.

This period of time spent in reflection and recovery has been useful however, and has resulted in a number of positive things like the big photo printer has been sorted out and is now in use, a lot of decluttering and tidying has gone on, some photography has occurred (!) and I have had an idea and have started to write again for the first time since the early nineties. This is very exciting for me.

I have not had nearly as much time out on the bike as I would like due to an illness that I have had and the fact that there are no showers available at work at present, but I hope my mileage will increase again soon. I have started to take short rides out in the evening now that the clocks have changed and will ride some more at the weekends too. The weather has been a factor in this too - look at the following piccies. The first was a gloriously warm seventeen degrees at eight in the evening. I sat on a hillside and had a picnic that evening. Less than two days later there were two inches of snow on the ground.

I've made two resolutions for this year which is unusual for me - I don't usually do resolutions. I think there's a need this year however, more to keep myself in line than the usual wishful thinking that people employ. They sound very simplistic, but will be very hard to stick to, I think!

1. I will try to look after and increase my own happiness

2. When asked to do something I will stop and think about it and, if I don't want to do it, I will think about why I am accepting, and make the decision again if necessary

In one of our latest Geocaching forays, Ian and Ruth and Jon and I went to find some church microcaches. It was a lovely sunny December day, about 5 degrees with sparkling blue skies and cool clear air - lovely day to be out and about. I was very interested to see that there has been some new carving done around the church's door - not the main entrance with the porch, but the door shown on this picture:



It's lovely to see such sympathetic workmanship of this quality on this piece of heritage.

I don't think I've ever had such a lazy and enjoyable Christmas Day. It was decided that Jessica would host the dinner this year ably assisted by her partner Neil and my Mum. Despite repeated requests, they did not want any assistance, and especially no assistance with the clearing up afterwards! So we spent our time playing with Cameron and Spike the little dog whilst hard work was going on in the kitchen.



It was all wonderful and extremely festive. Everything came together beautifully and tasted delicious. The best part was the sheer volume of vegetables - all cooked to perfection, not a soggy sprout to be seen.



Binky apparently has a love of roast dinners despite the fact that they're still pureed for him. He was very well behaved and had a lovely time - my favourte memory will be of him crawling around the floor after Spike the dog, laughing his little head off at goodness knows what.



Opening pressies between dinner and pud was fun - we all had a great haul and Cam had some excellent toys. A good time was had by all.

After my excellent experience in Romsey Abbey, I have figured that I need to find a place more local to me where I can go to clear my head and think. I know that many people have the mental discpline to be able to reach this state of mind in their homes but I need the help of good quiet old stone!

I have a lovely old local church which I shall visit and see how it feels.



It has many quirky and interesting features, the most interesting of which is the carving that reputedly inspired Lewis Carroll to write of the Cheshire Cat.



I will be very happy indeed if it has the same calming effect as Romsey Abbey.

I was hit by a number of ideas for a story whilst cycling to and from work late this year. It was inspired by an old house (circa 1700s) that I go past on each journey. I now carry a notebook with me at all times as I seem to want to discuss ideas at the most unusual times, usually whilst having meals to the amusement of my other half!

How to get away from distractions is something that's puzzling me though. If I am to develop these ideas and start to write, I need to be able to create a quiet and creative space or at least mindset and I seem to be finding it hard to do this at home. I think there are too many distractions - websites, forums, TV programmes, DVDs, housework, emails to be answered..... there just seems to be an endless number of things that I should/are encouraged to do instead.

Something occurred to me this week. I had a couple of spare hours in Romsey before I needed to be going to my Mum's to collect her as we were attending a family party that evening. I had an idea that sitting/wandering for a while in the Abbey might help me to clear my mind and show me how to get into the peaceful state that I seem to need in order to be creative.

It was wonderful!! I sat myself in St Anne's Chapel as the light was fading outside and just allowed my thoughts to freewheel in the quiet. The Abbey is always quite warm and comfortable and to my mind has always had a very welcoming and open atmosphere for all its grandeur.



I came up with more ideas in those two hours than I have in the few weeks that I have been musing on my storyline. They were quite dark, gothic ideas and add a depth to the plots that I had been missing previously. Not sure if I'll use them all, but they felt like a gift.

I am always saying to my significant other that I love things. Autumn, daffodils, rain, frost, little birds, sunsets, cycling at night to name just a few. Love to me is experiencing something that produces in me a psychological and physical feeling of affection, joy, longing and intense happiness to be alive. Little things that some people might consider trivial are very important to me; I don't mean to belittle the word "love" when I use it so often - I use it to describe my feelings towards things that make my life worth living.