Clarity

The last week since the very sad but timely passing of Cid has been interesting. I find that the passing of a beloved companion animal feels very differently when it is the result of nature taking its course slowly and inexorably, rather than the short shock of a terminal illness. I feel sad, lonely, regretful that he can't still be with us, but there is none of the gut-wrenching sorrow that I felt when Minstrel was taken from us so quickly through cancer.

Prince, our "visitor" cat, has been visiting regularly which is comforting in my catless state. Yesterday morning I found him "cottage loafed" on the kitchen floor in the sunshine for the first time. He was after fuss and a bit of a cuddle, and then he pranced off down the garden path with a spring in his step. It's not unusual for him to visit us every couple of days or so. He was not around this morning though, emphasising to me that he is a part-time cat only!

I have made a lot of changes around the house. New lightshades, furniture moving, some old stuff being chucked out, washing curtains, energy-saving bulbs where possible and cake-baking are some of the things that have happened this week. It's cleansing - not disrespectful, not sweeping out the old, but making way for this new time and reflecting in my home the shifts and changes that are taking place in my mind.

I have much to look forward to - Mum and Grandma visiting this weekend, and Cranleigh Show on Sunday. My nephew's Christening soon. A short holiday to Cornwall with Mum and Jessica at the end of August. And then a holiday in Skye with Ian in mid-October.

I also have a lot to do - it's time to think about cycling three days per week soon and the garden needs more work again. I have painting and knitting to get on with, and there are changes afoot at work I'm sure. More time and attention can now be paid to my husband and our relationship; things we do together and where we are going.

Life moves on, and in a new configuration.